Chao Kuan

"Chao Kuan" is an adjective that is used to describe a person or people with behaviour that deviates from social norms. They usually carry a negative conogtation. Socialogist can call them deviants, some have even said they form a sub culture... However, there is substantial evidence to show that a "Chao Kuan" person normally don't like to hang around with another "Chao Kuan".

Let me elaborate "Chao Kuan" further...

I remember during my army days, there are always some individuals who would like to gain from others. They will try their best to take advantage of others and even when their reputation is at stake, it doesn't matter to them at all. I have a smoker friend who would always smoke with the other smokers and will proceed to the smoking corner as the rest are going for a puff. He will go uninvited or in army terms "when noone 'jio' him". At the smoker's corner, he will then request for a cigarette from a fellow smoker, giving an excuse that he had ran out or had forgotten to bring out, and the friend will have no choice but to give one, after that, the "Chao Kuan" will not bother to return that stick or make any form of compensation. At times, a thanks is exchanged but often, the price of this cigarette is just a little chat and some weather talk. A stick at that time was about 80 cents including all those taxes. One is not much but after a few weeks, we realised that it really amounts to much. In the end, everyone avoided this person because he is stingy and loves to take advantage of others.. be it on purpose or not. The fact remains that "Chao Kuan" people just don't draw people to them. In fact, they repel.

One incident I heard before is from a couple who just got married and like most Chinese Singaporean, they held a wedding banquet in a Hotel in downtown Orchard. A table cost slightly under a thousand then and quick mathematics would tell you that it cost about 90-100 per head. As they were tabulating the gifts and well-wishes from the friends and relatives, they found a red packet that contained SGD 20. They were pretty shocked and they thought that soneone had misplaced the red packet in all the choas. Turning to the back, they realised that no mistake was made and it was indeed for their wedding. In fact, it was given by a church member.. Someone who was well trained in the teaching that "It's more blessed to give than to receive". This is another case of "Chao Kuan" people. People who are aliens to this planet and basically live in a bubble of their own. They care only about themselves and will not hesitate to make it a point that their own personal needs are not met. However, when it comes to meeting other people's needs, they have plenty of excuses. "Aiya, I'm still a student/I just lost my job mah, the couple would understand" "Aiya, who ask them to hold it at such an expensive place, just a simple dinner will do mah, now I wrap a little, already not bad" These are reasons that people will come up with. I remember Lillian once mentioned that by giving SGD 80-100 for a banquet, you're just merely covering the cost for the couple, you have yet to reach a point where you're blessing them. I know of some folks who give SGD 300 and even up to thousands for banquets. Those are nett givers. Please do not think that I'm posting this because my wedding is coming up, I just want to elaborate on "Chao Kuan" and this is really a social issue as some people are just so selfish. At times, though you're in church and all the right values are being taught, people tend to forget that what's being taught is one thing, what is being learnt and applied is another altogether.

I once had a birthday celebration with a group of church people and it was a tradition that the person in charge of me (my discipler) buys me a birthday gift. There was a budget of about 10-20 dollars. However, when I was unwrapping my present, I was shocked as it was a bottle of perfume from Calvin Klein. I was blown away as it was one of the most expensive gift I've received considering that I was still a young boy back then. This person, like Lillian mentioned above, are people who are really doing well in their life right now.. They belong to the league of the rich. Giving people are normally not poor.

In my current workplace, I have a colleague who is always buying me lunch, coffee, tea etc.. In fact, most of my colleagues are like that. Perhaps it's the company culture. There was once, in my blurness, I forgot to bring my wallet, I though I would go hungry that day but guess what? everything's paid for. People would rush to pay for the drinks, People would rush to order the food for you. The trick I learnt, is to ask other people to go find a seat so that you can be the one footing the bill. I've learnt that before everyone eats finish, make your way to the washroom and proceed to the counter to pay first before others snatch the bill from you. I remember just before my trip to Down Under, my department went to Katong for Laksa cos my colleague wanted me to have the best Singapore dish before my fast from Singapore food for the next 2 weeks. In the end, he ordered individual bowls of laksa (big size), otah, spring roll, toufu, and some chef's speciality and a luo han guo drink for all of us and he paid for us all. Even when I went for the Macau trip with my colleague, the cab fare was also paid for many times, and I have to put in a reasonable amount of effort so that I can foot the bill after meals. Often, the bill was settled even before I can take out my wallet...

For those who do not know, I actually don't work in church. I work in the secular world with many colleagues who are non-Christians (though 100% of my department are Christians) However, they are such a giving people. I'm amazed. Truly amazed. I think it's really a wake up call for us Christians and we should pull up our socks especially when we celebrate Christmas, knowing that Christmas is all about giving. Truly touched by what Pastor Kong did, bringing all the pastor's children to Toy'R'Us and asking them to pick the toys of their choice (upto 4 per kid) and then paying them all.... Inspiring.